|May 8, 2013|
I hesitate sharing the above photo. It's raw and rough and as un-edited as life itself. My poor Adler boy has been so, so, sick. And, there's not a thing I can do to ease the constant nagging of his circumstance. He wanders from room to room...Looking for a new surface to lay down upon. I think he thinks a fresh set of walls will afford him respite from this seemingly never ending game of "hide and seek". Where both seeking and hiding offer little by way of comfort.
The silver lining (perhaps silver irony) the photo offers, is the normalcy of everything else in the life-scene. There's my sweet-cheeked Ollie stacking and re-stacking lego's, apples that will certainly be enjoyed while watching a movie together as a family, blankets pulled fresh from the wash earlier today. And, then, there is beautiful Adler. Weak and weary and feeling hopelessly lost even as he sits amongst the familiarity of his surroundings. Oddly enough, there is comfort to be had in the knowledge that the same couch Adler sits on in his frustrated state, is the same couch Adler has dis-assembled dozens and dozens of times to build the "fort of the day." The same couch he has napped on since he was a toddler, the same couch we have read bedtime books on night after night after night. And, I suspect down the road just beyond my vantage point, that same couch will be a bystander as Adler opens up our front door, kicks off his shoes, runs to find his brothers to declare: "I'm done! I've made it! No more cancer for me!"
Keep on the sunny side,