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August 12, 2013
As I type, I can hear my boys all lunching together in the kitchen. Laughing in between bites of sweet pickles and sandwiches. A week from this moment, my kitchen will be homesick. As will I. We're sitting on the shoulders of a new school year. Perched...head cocked to the side. Squinting as we look forward. Hoping to make sense of the shapes and silvery shadows that make up our future.
For the second year in a row, I'll have a son in High school, Junior High, Elementary and Preschool. Yikes. Makes for a morning routine that is anything but.
Every. Single. Year. I struggle with the newness that accompanies this shift in my sails. Both when the school year is over and once again as a new school year takes flight. I fret, I worry, I nash my teeth. I stew and wonder and move the decimal over Two places. All to no avail. Change still finds me. Always. Although, I have come to know this about myself...It still catches me off guard. Still blindfolds me and spins me a few whirls before sending me forward. Lucky for me, I have shaken hands with this part of my inner-workings... calling for a truce. In doing so, find myself searching for the mental breadcrumbs I carefully placed along my past-path...both reminding me of my yesterdays, while leading me into my tomorrows.
It has certainly been a bittersweet summer. Full of the ripest of highs and the sourest of lows. And, although, I won't lace up new school shoes or zip up a new backpack next week...I will continue forward as student, as Cancer continues to teach.
"Oh mirror in the sky
what is love?
Can this child within my
Can I sail through the
changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the
seasons of my life?"
Number 2 pencil
loves to you,