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| Chemo Day: Tuesday April 16th |
Dear Jane,
Do you remember reading in grade school Alexander and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day? I feel like Alexander and I should get together and go bowling. It's been one bummer of a day.
Adler woke up sick and has remained so as the hours have ebbed forward. In and out of nausea and bouts of restless sleep most of the day. When he is awake, he spends a great deal of time trying to get comfortable. He lays down, he gets back up. He crouches like a turtle seeking shelter within his shell and then paces around like a caged tiger looking for answers hidden between the bars that hold him captive.
I woke up thinking about modes of transportation. Each vessel that came to mind seemed to have a "safety plan" attached. Airplanes have Emergency Exits and floatation cushions...even extra oxygen should the need arise. Cars have seat belts and airbags, boats play the "inception" card by having a boat placed within what? yep, another boat. But, this motherhood mode, has no "safety plan" attached. No harness to keep you safely secured, no motion discomfort bag placed in the seat back in-front of you. There's no pamphlet dotted with illustrations outlining what to do should your Seven year old develop a bad case of cancer at cruising altitude.
I just feel so very underwhelmed with this lack luster pit stop Janey. Like at the beginning of this trip I was provided a well creased road-map. It fit perfectly into my luggage and each time I glanced at it...There was a certainty that seemed to be found within the creases themselves. Now, though, as I carefully unfold the map....I realize it's in Portuguese and unfortunately, in the coin-toss, French won out at Jr.High registration....And, that's really only because I thought I would look cute in a beret. (Note to readers...There are NO berets in French class).
Sweet Jane, I must sign off for now. Soon the bedtime rigamarole will begin. As I have been writing though, Adler seems to have emerged from his turtle shell for a bit. He's been chatting with his brothers and even requested and then drank some rootbeer. Soon, I will lay next to him and play with his lessening hair, tickle his back and maybe even throw in a bedtime book....Let's hope for his sake(and mine)that it's not in Portuguese.
Je t'aime tellement,
-Sara
My dear Sara,
ReplyDeleteYou have a beautiful gift for words, emotion, and expression. Thank you for sharing this with the world. May you be comforted with divine peace in the process.... As I think of my own motherhood mode and safety plan, my mind is continually taken to the atonement of our Savior, it is in this power that I have been able to walk the trials that have been placed before me, and I know it is this same power in which you take every step of every day as you face your current trial. There is a talk I would like to share with you. It is by David Bednar “That we might not shrink” This talk is incredibly moving and powerful as we face trials in life. http://www.lds.org/broadcasts/article/ces-devotionals/2013/01/that-we-might-not-shrink-d-c-19-18?lang=eng
I pray for your family every day!
Powerful Adler is being held in His arms.
~Jennica R.